My peak trans moment was seeing The Feminist Breeder and Avital Nathman on Twitter let their internalized misogyny show. They dismiss Christine Benvenuto as a hurt, ranting woman, thereby proving her point that for this generation of feminists, “Female solidarity is out. A man in a dress is in.” And, in the logrolling world of professional feminism, it’s very important not to alienate a male contributor, or any influential male who might be able to score you a book deal.
(One of) my peak trans moment(s) came first when I was first attacked by self proclaimed feminists and LGB allies for not being sexually attracted to penises. All my life I fought to establish that yes, I am a lesbian, I exist and I’m sexually attracted to females exclusively. Now the very people who talk the loudest about being allies are berating me for not being attracted to people with penises and telling me what MY sexuality means and that I am OBLIGATED to love cock if the owner of said cock prefers to be called “she” and that if I don’t then I’m a defective bigot “phallophobe”.
I’m attracted to females, and females only. No amount of emotionally manipulative speculations about “well what if you loved a girl more than anything and then found out she had a penis when you finally got into bed” can ‘fix’ my gayness.
I said it to the straights and I’ll say it again to the transtrenders: I’m gay, and you can’t bully me into pretending I’m something I’m not.
Okay, so this (sadly) wasn’t my peak moment, but it did bother me a lot. I hope that’s still okay to publish?
So I saw this post on a trans woman’s blog, and made me all kinds of mad. They pretty much said that trans women and MAAB trans people have more of a right to women’s space then FAAB trans people and gender non-conforming cis women.
This regardless of whether the MAAB non-binary people present as men or not, and regardless of whether the FAAB non-binary people present as women or not.
This convinced me that at least the online trans community is more concerned over males then females. I mean, that is so fucking blatant. It’s all about the males, all the time.
If trans* women never had male privilege, as many claim, then trans* men always had male privilege. Having lived it, I can assure you that is not the case. When I couldn’t discuss my life prior to transition and the misogyny I faced when perceived as a male in trans* spaces without someone getting offended and “triggered” it was time to move on. So much of the culture seems to be about trans* women trying to regain the male privilege they lost so they can keep acting the same.
When a transman friend of mine defended the misogynistic vitriol of a transwoman and accused me of transmisogyny and transphobia for criticizing the transwoman for harassing lesbians, calling them “dykes” and describing their vaginas as “filthy cunts.”
My PeakTrans moment came when I realised that BOTH groups (MtF and FtM) want access to womens spaces and this causes them to simultaneously say THE EXACT OPPOSITE about Trans in this way:
MtF: growing up as woman means nothing, I am now a woman and have never felt like a man. Your womaness is meaningless. I am just like a ciswoman. You’re transphobic if you disagree now let me into your womens spaces.
FtM: of course growing up as a female means I can still relate as a woman! I’m now a man but I used to be a woman which means something, I’m not like a cisman in this respect now let me in to your womens spaces.
They expect non-trans to engage in some kind of weird Orwellian doublethink where being Trans means the exact opposite to each other!
It is clear they will lie to get whatever they want to feel special. I just cannot and do not believe them anymore……. One of the two groups is clearly lying!!!!
I’m reading through tumblr, seeing some people saying things, carefully avoiding spoilers for the new ‘Who, and I see someone saying that trans* women are definitely women, but male privilege is about how you’re treated, and until you transition you will be treated by the rest of the world as male. As such, trans women have some ingrained male privilege they lose during their journey to womanhood, and that’s something that trans women should adjust for.
Now, that is a valid statement. I’m a trans woman, I’ll sign off that this is a real thing. And the person who posted it, transradfem, didn’t say it offensively. They were just saying it.
And then the riots started.
People were screaming. There were death threats, there was yelling, caps were locked … my people are, unfortunately it seems, being represented on the internet by a couple of misguided teenagers trying to re-write culture and existence.
So I am sorry. I am sorry that there are idiots who scream at people trying to open a dialogue in our community. Please know this is NOT how most trans* folks think or act.
i love that idea, ‘check your unicorn privilege’ because so many special snowflakes have that in spades. though there’s obviously violence directed at non-gender-conforming people, the third gender in many cultures is a privileged one, and MtF trans often do get to pick and choose the best parts of each gender’s presentation.
i support trans women of color, as a white woman i have no idea what’s it’s like to be socialized as a man of color, and if a man of color transitions, that is none of my fucking business and i will use their pronouns. but white mtfs? hell to the fuck no. they are shady as fuck and why why are so many of them like >40? i see lots of young trans WoC but every white m2f i see is old as shit. i’m not sure why i feel this way, and i don’t think i’ve hit peak trans, but i can feel some fucked up sht
in a feminist group speaking about women’s issues. I had no problem with transwomen being there. when I mentioned, however, that we as first world feminists should not force agendas or priorities on women in the global south, who had bigger fish to fry, I was suddenly accused of making transwomen feel “unsafe” and “afraid” of coming to the group. I was banned from the group. I tried standing up for myself and explaining my views. shouted down, there was a demand I make a public apology. I did. didn’t help. accused of being insincere, lying, sarcastic, whatever. then came the stalking, the angry messages at all hours of the night. I was called a bigot, a misogynist, a bad person, stupid, cursed at, hateful, etc. I was shocked. they tracked down my address, said they were going to jump me. I was scared. after further thought, I was amused. who were these freaks? discussion at the feminist group turned to adult baby fetishes, hormones, incest. females drifted away. the group itself was ruined.